Just Because/You Love Me

Just because I'm a nerd
doesn't mean I don't enjoy cursing, or
enjoy a frivolous night of tomfoolery on the town.
Just because I'm a nerd
doesn't mean I prefer the company of books over people
(though in some moods that might be true).

Just because I'm an English teacher
doesn't mean I am continually critiquing your grammar.
I say words and speak without thinking and use "it," "thingie," and general gestures that run over into impropriety
Or use a bakcWrd verb or splell chk.
Just speak.

Just because I'm married
doesn't mean I don't want to hear I look beautiful, or
have a man be interested in me as I walk by in something cute.
Just because I'm married
doesn't mean I have children, am expecting children, or can't wait for the day to have children.
I've got a life to lead and discover and make mistakes in for myself!

Just because I'm married to the military
doesn't mean I have an American flag pasted on all my walls, or
know the proper salute for identifying ranks and the latest politics.
Just because I'm married to the military
doesn't mean I will stop seeking a dream of my own and a career that fulfills me.

Just because I'm confident on the outside
doesn't mean I can't be hurt by your words, mean glances, or other disrespect;
I'll just act as though I'm more resilient.
Just because I'm an empathetic soul who feels the world to experience it
doesn't mean I won't block you out if you continue to demean or yell or otherwise propagate the negative;
I'll labor with the decision, but, once it's made, I'll not rescind it.

Just because you see me doesn't mean you see me.


Very few see me because, only then, you love me.


514pm
7.11.2014
EGH

in response to Lord of the Flies lesson planning

Life on the Screen

Do you remember when I first loved you?
Do you think of the first time spoken?


There were crowds around me that day:
   crowds ambling on their way to business
   crowds nosing into the daily happenstance
   crowds peeping in to see our faces (mine in real time, yours, a mere picture on a screen)

I told you then. I TOLD you then:


"Of course I love you."




And now...it's all too true.

"Of course I love you," when you snore instead of smile.
"Of course I love you," when you point and prod after a long, hard day.
"Of course I do," when questions becomes accusing.
"Of course," as water drips from my ever-leaking eyes.

Damn allergic eyes.

The sand surrounds us and swallows us whole.
The noise external obliterates the sweetness of whispers.
The traffic blocks the easy walks.
The rage and pressures eviscerate the calm and comfort.
The town of desperation swallows us whole.



I'm sinking now,


          I'm sinking now,





  (I'm sinking now)

into a discomfort lined with razors (the pointed edges, not the flat).
The pinpricks that surround me leave me no wiggle, wriggle, giggle room--
I see a cool and comfy spot!




--Oh wait.



It's just reflections from
the daggers
from the daggers of the razor blades of
broken hopes of
shattered dreams of
pieces of your face in a screen.

"Don't believe what you see on T.V."

Almost.

"Don't believe what you don't see in reality."